Everyone has smoked a Blood Ruby at least once or twice in their lifetime. Perhaps in college you had to smoke it during Rush Week in order to join your favorite sorority, a night you never forgot. Maybe your best friend, Joe, was getting married and a strip club just wouldn't cut it for your last night on the town together. Maybe that marriage fell through, and he asked if he could crash on your couch for a week or two, until he got his shit together. Maybe you even caught your so-called "best friend" sleeping with your fiancé, Sarah, and you smoked that Big Red once again because it felt like the only way to drown out the feeling of your heart being constantly ripped from your chest by the memory of them banging on your favorite red sofa. Sigh. But at least you were able to sell your tainted furniture for enough coin to buy a few more grams from your local Blood Warlock, Dave. Then, maybe after awhile you didn't have any furniture left to sell, so you took to giving handies to dwarves behind the Drunken Beard on 22nd street in the Metatropolis in exchange for hits from a rusty pipe. Then one day, you find yourself on the side of the road begging for spare change, trying to use the tips and tricks you learned from your favorite book, The Twelve Hour Work Week, when you see Joe and Sarah walking by with Luna, the dog you and Sarah had picked out together when she first moved in. You watch them as they stroll past, hand in hand, and it's as if they look right fucking through you. They act like they don't even know who you are, but deep down you know that they know, and that they purposely don't want to rationalize that you in fact still exist. Finally, you realize you need help, and check yourself into rehab after one more two-week binge. I'm not saying that happened to me or anything, but here are some surprising things that happened when I got clean!

1. Clarity

There will come a time in your first two weeks in which the euphoria and hallucinations will begin to dissipate, and a surge of thoughts, emotions, and numbing feelings will come over you. The Blood kept these feelings far below the surface, but now they will hit you hard and all at once, like a freight train. If you ride this wave, eventually you will have a moment of clarity. It may not last long, but it can be life-changing. In my moment of clarity, I realized that in addition to blocking out bad memories, I was abusing the drug in order to hurt those who hurt me, by hurting myself. I realized that trying to go for the sympathy card on a bunch of sociopaths is a stupid plan. This form of revenge is pointless; If you want to hurt someone who hurt you, you have to go out and do it!

2. Blood Rubies are an Expensive Habit

If you're blowing through a couple grams of pure, genuine, Grade A Red Shit every day, it's going to put a dent in your wallet. But now that you're clean and have the ability to hold down a job, you should start seeing a speedy increase in funds. Of course you will have a lot of bills to pay and will probably be in debt to a couple of nasty Warlocks, but once you get these paid off, you can start saving! I highly recommend you avoid going out to places that may trigger a relapse, like bars, or if you're like me, Bar Mitzvahs. Instead, try to set goals for your sobriety and then reward yourself with a gift for every milestone. Why not treat yourself with a new tattoo, a Super NES Classic gaming system, a book, or a curse on those who have wronged you in the past?

3. Clearer skin

 When detoxing from Blood Rubies, you will notice a red fluid secreting from your pores for two to four days, depending on the amount of the drug in your system. This is completely normal, and is your body's way of cleansing itself. It will probably have an odd, sort of funky smell to it. This is the worst possible time to relapse. Smoking a Blood Ruby during this process will not stop the detox. You will continue to sweat out the smelly red stuff, while having one of the worst trips of your life. The red liquid will temporarily stain your skin, creating an excellent camouflage if you want to go out and spy on someone without being recognized. Spying on those who were once a part of your life can be very soothing during this transition period. However, be sure to keep a significant distance. Your abominable stank may make them vomit. Once this process has ended, you will notice a glowing, dewy sheen left behind, like you emerged from a vat of olive oil.

4. People That You Used to Know Will Judge You

There is no worse feeling than somebody you used to care for or look up to, looking down on you. Honestly, they may have the right to after what you did to them during your last binge. Even after four months clean, my mom barely talks to me because of all the times I lied and stole from her to get another hit. My ex fiancé's mother, Darlene, also still refuses to talk to me despite my many efforts. I even showed up at the school where she teaches, asking her how she's been and inquiring about Joe and Sarah. I only wanted to know if they were happy, and maybe where they were currently living, but she just cut me off and told me to leave. I think that it's up to us to slowly convince these people that we are not the people we used to be. So for now, I keep my distance from them and leave little gifts outside of their houses, such as collages I've made out of old photos and newspaper clippings of their family, or poetry.

5. Life's a Roller Coaster Ride

Even though I lost my house, job, and self respect while using Blood rubies, I would never take back the experience. It has made me a stronger person and is a big part of who I am. I also made a lot of friends along the way. It was hard to break off my relationship with the dwarves at the Drunken Beard at first, but they were surprisingly very understanding and supportive of my sobriety. Dave, the Blood Warlock, and I still keep in contact, and apparently selling drugs isn’t his only venture. He also has a plethora of ways of getting people to give him information. So the other day, I used some of that hard earned coin I spoke about in number 2, to get myself a little gift: the address of Joe and Sarah! When I got to their house I could see them eating, laughing, and probably telling each other some boring story about work. From what I could see, sitting outside in their oak tree, looking in their window, they seemed to be pretty happy. I’d expected to feel the familiar sting of my heart being ripped out once again. Sadly, all I felt in the end was numbness. By some act of the gods, I was finally able to let it all go. It may sound a little cliche, but I felt as if my chains had been broken and I was finally able to move forward again. Also, speaking of being chained, they had left my beautiful Luna tied up in the backyard, and you know what?? I payed $300 for this dog, Sarah. She is not yours, you thieving bitch!

Anyway, life can be strange sometimes, but if you ride the wave of ups and downs, you will eventually get to where you are supposed to be. If you’re still struggling with an addiction I hope this article has brought you some sort of insight. Please smoke Blood Rubies responsibly!

Editor's note: Runes and Ammo Monthly does not endorse the smoking, snorting, inhaling, crushing, chewing, sucking, dipping, or inserting, of Blood Rubies.